Dear Bob: A Journey to Cincinnati, Part VI - My last day, continued

Hi Bob, me again. Getting tired of me yet? It's been a month since the day I am describing. I wish I were there all over again. I get to see the Reds next week here in DC, but it just isn't the same as watching them at home. This year, though, I'm trying to make it a little more like home by inviting all of Cincinnati and displaced Reds fans to a tailgate party Thursday, August 2, 2007 from 5-6:30pm in front of RFK (location will be posted later). I'm grilling burgers (the best you'll ever have!) and making a pitcher of Homers. It's bring your own beer. Actually, I don't know if you're allowed to have beer at tailgate parties at RFK, but oh well. If you're in town, Bob, please come - everyone's invited, even Nats fans!

Speaking of dining, on our tour of the ballpark we went up to the Riverfront Club. I never could understand why someone would go to the ballpark for formal dining like this. Every time I go to a game, I see people sitting up in the restaurant instead of sitting out in the stands the way baseball was meant to be enjoyed. These little gimmicks mar the essence of the game, but it'd be a cool place to eat dinner on an off day!

I thought about making my own wine topper like this one using one of the Reds sundae helmets I picked up off the ground after a game, just like I used to do as a kid. I'm not a big ice cream eater these days, but I just love those helmets, and I didn't have any with the drop shadow wishbone C, so I scooped them right up (pun intended!)

Back in the Riverfront days, we used to hop around from aisle to aisle collecting left behind souvenir cups, sundae helmets, promotional giveaways, and whatever other Reds treasures we could find. I guess some things never change, even as they age.

Wine and baseball should never be combined. It's like wearing wool sweaters in ninety degree weather or putting sugar in your gas tank or rooting for the Yankees when you've grown up in Boston. They just don't go together. Now beer and baseball is a different story, like salt and pepper, Bono and the Edge, or Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean. (Yeah, I just referenced Olympic Ice Dancing.)

The tour also took us to Scout's Alley, which honors some great Reds scouts. I immediately noticed the names of Larry Barton, Jr. and Johnny Almaraz as those longtime scouts who quit because of Wayne Krivsky. Yet Wayne Krivsky still sits in his office, the seconds ticking down until the fateful trade deadline, inspiring worry and anxiety in Reds fans. HEY WAYNE, DON'T TRADE DUNN, GRIFFEY, PHILLIPS, OR ARROYO!

After the tour, we headed on down to Gameday to check it out. Neither of us had been there before - we've always just gone to Inn Between for pre-game beers. I can't decide which I like better, though I am a sucker for beer gardens and Gameday is lacking in that regard. There are few things in life better than sitting outside, drinking a beer, absorbing the warmth and glory of the sunshine, and doing it all right across from you team's home stadium before you're going to see a baseball game.

Of course, being at the game is better!

While waiting for the gates to open after visiting Gameday, we strolled the streets of Cincy. I was looking for a place to buy a black marker so I could write "This Reds fan loves Barry" on the flip side of my "FIRE NARRON" sign, over which I wrote "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED." (Yeah, think flight decks about that one.) The guy in this picture posing with my mom was a little old crazy dude who didn't quite get the concept of "countdown" but nonetheless was as excited as I was about Narron's firing.

And so, Bob, I must finish here. I have only one more part to go in my letter to you, that being the actual game on July 3 against the Giants and the post-game fireworks show. I'll leave you with a few more pics from the day, including one of the scoreboard operation room. Try to look at it with the awe of someone like me who has never had access to the behind-the-scenes stuff of putting on The Baseball Show, the best show on Earth.

I see what he did there

Ok, so baseball players cost money, right? And the Reds have a small budget, right? Well, I've now figured out why such superduds Pedro Lopez, Chad Moeller, and Norris Hopper are on the team. See, Wayne is in the process of assembling an entire team of unpaid robots!

That's right - Wayne's a genius. The robots are in the early stages of development, so they hit for contact rather than power. But just wait until the newer models come out!

Here's what Lopez, Moeller, and Hopper look like without their skin on:


First Baseball Hitting Robot - Watch more free videos

McCoy not coy about his opinions

I found this funny:

Q — Do you think the Reds would have interest in acquiring Joe Nathan from the Twins? At least one Web site is reporting that the Twins might be willing to deal him. — Dave, Springboro

A — Might is a very iffy word. I might go to work at the New York Times, but I doubt that they want a senior-citizen baseball writer who probably is down to his last bucket of adjectives. One Web site? Now there is credibility for you. If a player once wore a Minnesota Twins uniform, Reds General Manager Wayne Krivsky is interested. He knows those guys. Sure, he would be interested in Joe Nathan. Who wouldn't? Which team likes him the most? The Minnesota Twins. Better try a different Web site.

I love Hal McCoy, and this week's mailbag is chock full of goodies.
___

Dear Bob: A Journey to Cincinnati, Part V - A Perfect Day

Dear Bob,

So it's been awhile since I've written. I know it was three weeks ago when I saw the last of three games in Cincy, but I've been pretty busy, so I'm just getting around to this last post.

July 3 was a great day. We got to the ballpark eight hours before game time! We took a tour of the ballpark - a guy named Dave was our guide. I tell you what, Bob, it sure was great to get to go onto the field. That was about the most beautiful grass I've ever seen. I've only been on one other Major League Baseball field back in old Riverfront. I once won the Milk Duds Celebrity Batgirl contest and got to go on the field during Reds batting practice. Someday I'll get around to putting those pictures on a disk and publishing them here. I had my picture taken with Hal Morris and Chris Hammond, Version 1.0. But that's for another time.

It's a pretty good tour where you get to see not only the field, but also the press box, Club 4192, the restaurant, Scout's Alley, and the Diamond Club. I knew the answers to Dave's questions, so he joked that he was going to turn the guide job over to me, which was amusing. They were really pretty simple questions, like who is retired number 1? and things of that nature.

I'm not sure what it is about a baseball field that's so magical, but standing there staring out at the verdant sea (complete with boat!) was utter happiness. I could write a whole novel sitting on that grass, such is the inspiration it brings to the soul. The maintenance of such a perfect yard must be quite a process! I commend the groundskeeper and his crew for a magnificent job!

Wow, the Diamond Club seats are my dream. The tour took us down there, and it is my greatest wish to one day see a game from those seats. I don't care about the wait service or the fancy food or any of the perks that come with those tickets - I just want to be as close to the action as a spectator can be. I want to hear the umpire say "Strike!" when Harang pitches. I want to be able to tell whether it was a fastball or slider by watching the pitch come in. I want my heart to jump as a foul ball comes screaming towards my head, only to be protected by a safety net. Sound crazy? Well, that's part of the game, too!

Yes, one day I will sit in these seats with the rest of the rich folks and lucky bastards. I will go through the special doors, past the fancy restaurant with the bats sticking out of the woodwork (see photo below), and feel like I am part of that world from which I am now excluded on account of me being just a plain old member of the common folk. Yes, one day I will hear the ump scream "Strike!" with my common folk ear!

Boy, that view from the press box is really something, too. Makes me want to run out and get a journalism degree so I can sit there. No wonder the competition is fierce. I can't imagine getting paid to watch baseball - I think I'd be the happiest person on the planet in the whole history of the world, even if I had to meet deadlines and stay up extra late and fly (I hate flying) and all.

I liked how someone had gone and prepped the press box by putting a handout of stats at each place and the San Francisco media guides in the press box cubby holes. Probably some intern. Why didn't I think of interning for the Reds back in the day?

My mom sat in Hal McCoy's seat, judging from his cubby hole behind her. Growing up in the Dayton area pre-internet, Hal McCoy was the guy who told me about the Reds, plain and simple, explaining to me why Mr. Red was either smiling or frowning at me from the front page of the Dayton Daily News. I really miss newspapers. The days when you got your news from a paper instead of a glaring screen seem much simpler in hindsight. I hope DDN still prints the face of Mr. Red on the front page.

Well, Bob, I thought this was going to be my last post, but this has gotten quite long, so I'll have to continue it later. Right now, I have some work to do. Here are a few more photos.

A new Major League record

Four.

Yeah, that's right - I smuggled in four bottles of Curveball this evening and watched the Nats win 3-0. I did not pay a cent for anything this evening, also a new Major League record. I even turned in the season ticket holder voucher to get four Reds tix for the August 2 game, so it was like the Nats were paying me to attend the game!

Ok, I guess zero isn't exactly right. I had to pay four bucks for the two bags of peanuts I bought to hide the beer bottles. But hey, four bucks for a Major League Baseball game. I win.

Welcome to the cellar, Asstros!

Are Bob Castellini and Wayne Krivsky kicking themselves yet for not firing Jerry Narron sooner? Fresh off a sweep of the hated Atlanta Braves, the Reds head into Miami today with a 9-4 record under interim manager Pete Mackanin and a whole lot of "what if" on their shoulders.

I feel like that crazy cat woman on the Simpsons when I stare at the standings and that big, fat "13.5" glares back at me and think "It's not insurmountable." Heck, the '69 Mets were 10 games out in August and ended up winning the World Series. Shoot, we're practically in fourth place already!

I'm not saying hire Pete Mackanin as next year's manager. No, I want the big name. I want Davey Johnson - he was so wrongly dismissed by old Leatherpants, but Leatherpants is long gone (and how is Johnson working for the Nationals right now with the one and only?) Ahh, the good old days, when the Cincinnati Reds were in the NLCS (stupid Braves). I want Joe Girardi or even LaMafia. No more of these organization guys or guys with sub .500 records!

Winning more than losing sure is nice.

And one more thing:
DON'T TRADE ARROYO, DUNN, OR GRIFFEY.

Dear Bob: A Journey to Cincinnati, Part IV - They really muffed that up!

Let's see, Bob, where was I? It's been a few days since I've been able to write - I've been a little busy with work and all (plus Blogger takes forever to upload photos). Ah, yes, Junior's awesome home run. Well, it wasn't enough. Homer threw a billion pitches, too many of them balls, and the offensive heroics of the game were lost, as they have been so many times this season. (Which reminds me, Bob - have you DFA'd Mike Stinkton yet?) The Reds are 5th in the league in runs scored, not exactly where you'd think a last place team would rank, eh? It's too bad for much of the season we've wasted roster spots with Juan "Manos de suckos" Castro and third catchers.

My point is to ask you - no, to beg you - not to break up the offense. Trade Scotty and Conine - I love them both, but we have Votto and we need to get something for them. Don't trade Dunn or Griffey, ok?

I had my "FIRE NARRON" sign with me on Sunday, too. I'm so glad you saw my sign and granted my wish. If I had known such a sign would give you the message, I would have driven the 8.5 hours to Cincinnati much earlier when the season was still salvagable. I suppose my failure to do so leaves me as much at fault as this year's bullpen or last year's Ryan Franklin, right? (Incidentally, have you seen how good a year Franklin's having? See what happens when you have a manager who knows how to use a bullpen? Consider Franklin "Exhibit A.")

I had been so bummed after Sunday's loss that I wasn't much company after the game, but there was a vintage exhibition game after the loss that temporarily made me forget the pain of this season. The 1869 Cincinnati Red Stockings played the Cincinnati Buckeyes, and the outcome was another Reds loss - it figures. It was during this game when I learned they used to call flyballs "skyballs," batters "strikers," and errors "muffs." I decided I'd call the current Reds team the "Muffins."

But you know, Bob? Different players are not the solution to the Reds' defensive woes. You guys brought in one of the best defensive shortstops in the world, and he already has double last season's total number of muffs. Try mandatory fielding practice three times a week - it's sure to relieve defensive indigestion and get rid of that nasty case of the Muffins. Maybe the team will even hit the cutoff man once in awhile.

After the vintage game, Mom and I visited "Pete: The Exhibit." It was the second time I'd been to the Reds Hall of Fame, and both times I got goosebumps going through it. But Bob, this time I felt something different, something I still felt several days later. It hit me when I turned the corner on the second floor and saw divine light raining down on three Holy Grails, those golden gifts from the baseball gods, the World Series trophies.

Bob, have you ever brought Wayne into that room to show him what it really means to be a member of the Cincinnati Reds? Have you brought any Reds players around that corner to see those trophies in all their glory? Do it, Bob. Bring those rookies into that room, make them understand that the Cincinnati Reds Baseball Club is not some small market roster that only exists so large market teams have some opponent to play. Bring those veterans into that room to see the joy of victory enshrined on the bronze faces of the Big Red Machine. Make Bronson understand that 2004 may have been a special year to him, but the Boston Red Sox are no match for the winning tradition of the oldest team in professional baseball.

That's what I felt upon leaving that room, Bob. I felt today's players don't know enough about baseball history. I'm like grumpy old Frank in that regard. I'm sure Mr. Robinson is appalled with the state of baseball as a business as I am, what with ESPN wiping proud small market teams off the map. Remember back in the seventies when the Reds had three or four starters on the All Star team? People knew the Cincinnati Reds then. Why not now? And do the young players think they are just biding their time until they can go play for a "real" team like the Bankees or Red Sox? Do they not know the Reds have won more World Series (5) than every team in baseball but the Bankees (26) and Deadbirds (10) (and technically Boston(6), though we all know they won five of them when most people were still riding horses instead of driving cars.) Bob, you understand the winning tradition of Cincinnati. It's time the nation is given a history lesson. It's time to win again.

We walked over the Purple People Bridge and had a post-game, post-HOF beer, but it wasn't until Sportscenter announced Jerry's dismissal in our hotel room that my mood changed. I woke up Monday refreshed and craving Reds baseball again. Unfortunately, it was an off day, but I saw plenty of the stadium on a B&B Riverboat cruise. I'd always wanted to take one of those and enjoyed the hour-long trip on the Ohio River. I'll leave you with some more photos and finish up my letter with a report on the July 3 game versus San Francisco as soon as I can. Take care, and DON'T TRADE BRONSON.

You have to be freaking kidding me

I interrupt this broadcast to bring you some always upsetting information. Scott Kazmir threw his 500th strikeout today. Yeah that same first round Kazmir that old Leatherpants did not select when he instead chose out-of-baseball-now Chris Gruler.

Yes, it does pain me greatly to see Kazmir's success, not because I want him to fail but because old Leatherpants chose Gruler over Kazmir.

Harangutan versus the lion's Maine

I'm going to interrupt my Dear Bob series to write something about this Mets series, as I anticipate four good games in it.

Well, last night was almost a good game.

Hal McCoy wrote an article the other day about Brandon Phillips' "showboating." When I read it, I thought 'What's he talking about?' Last night, however, I realized he might be right. Like the Mets broadcasters said, Brandon Phillips ran his team out of the game. And like they said, that's what last place teams do.

No, the Mets broadcasters were not kind last night. They repeatedly talked about how bad Cincinnati is to the point where I was getting kind of pissed. The team is not as bad as its record indicates and its position in the standings is a direct result of suffering through the woeful management team of Jerry Narron and Wayne Krivsky. As I was telling the announcers this as if they would hear me through my computer screen, I realized that any positive feelings I had about our General Manager are gone. It's time for him to go, Bob.

Anyway, someone said something about tonight's pitching matchup of Aaron "Most underrated pitcher in baseball" Harang and John Maine being the possible matchup for Game 1 of the 2009 NCLS. And that's probably why the Mets announcers irritated me so much with their constant berating of the Reds. For the next three seasons, the Reds are going to have an awesome team, and most of the pieces are there now. I look forward to a potential Reds-Mets NLCS. We should practice for it now by bringing up Votto and Dumatrait!

I wanted to go to a game in this series and would have had I not seen three Reds games last week. I guess I'll settle for watching the games online and waiting for the Reds to come to DC in two weeks!