Twas a few weeks before Christmas, when all through Disneyworld
The GM was stirring, but said not a word.
Red stockings were hung in thoughts and in prayers,
In hopes that a hitter soon would be theirs.
The fans were impatient for news of the Reds,
While visions of victory danced in their heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had no more stomach for another year's crap.
When out in the papers there arose such a clatter,
I went to the web to see what was the matter.
Away to the Reds page I flew with a hunch,
Clicked open the article and threw up my lunch.
A long time employee of 39 years
Had resigned in disgust at one of his peers
The General Manager, Krivsky's the name
Apparently "listened to no one" he claimed.
With another resignation, so disgruntled and quick,
I knew in a moment K must be a prick.
More rapid than eagles bad moves they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Austin! now Lopez! now Ward and Aurilia!
Sign Bubba! Sign Moeller! and forty-year old relievers!
To the waste bins of baseball! to the list of released!
Now sign away! Sign away! Sign away, beasts!"
As infielders that before had played with the Twins,
Were signed with no hope to contribute to wins.
Catchers were lined in a very long queue,
Though one was traded, so there were two.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard in the news
That two little catchers just wouldn't do.
No, three was a must, and a bad one at that,
Signed by Wayne Krivsky with no kind of bat.
He was dressed all in red, from his head to his foot,
And he looked to contribute, but there was nothing he could.
A bundle of gear he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a has-been, if he'd ever been that.
The roster was loaded with players so weary
And Reds fans all over had no need to be cheery.
As Wayne was determined to play Christmas grinch
The catchers and fielders made it a cinch.
Of course don't forget, relievers aplenty
For Wayne was determined to waste the team's money.
But the piece of the puzzle, that one thing we need
Was to Wayne Krivsky a low priority.
That need was a bat, a righthanded hitter
A batter with pop and an on base percentage!
Someone who could often contribute a run,
Someone who could hit behind Adam Dunn.
And so Barton Jr. retired from work,
And said in the papers Wayne's some kind of jerk.
And then it was Almaraz quitting the team,
After 16 long years, he was ready to scream.
Another farewell should signal a whistle,
Working with Wayne must be like walking through thistle.
And I heard fans exclaim, "of losing we're tired!"
"Wayne Krivsky sux, he deserves to be fired!"