Radio, radio, radio

Once upon a time, the world was not blessed cursed plagued experienced with cathode ray tubes and cabletology and digitality and plasmalogy and webology and the like. In 1921, in the midst of one of the greatest tragedies in the history of mankind, that being Prohibition, the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Philadelphia Phillies could be heard through a little box known as a radio. It was probably a hot day, as it was August 5th in the Steel City, which was, back then, an important city in the United States of America, not the hollow shell it is today.

From then on, the great denizens of the United States, who were passionately in love with a little game called baseball, were able to hear their beloved game through these little boxes.

Nineteen years after Pennsylvanians heard the Pirates beat the Phillies, the first baseball game could be seen by people who weren't even at the game. The day was probably a hot one like the first radio game, as it was August 26th, 1939 at Ebbets Field, and Americans were once again legally allowed to enjoy the epicurean pleasure of a cold beer at a ballgame. The teams? The Brooklyn Dodgers were hosting the Cincinnati Reds. The two teams split a doubleheader, with the Reds winning the first game 5-2 and the Hated Dodgers winning the second 6-1. Television.

Despite the technology, broadcasting nearly every game has been a relatively recent phenomenon. For me, watching nearly every game has been even more recent. I subscribed to MLB.TV for the first time in 2004 and had a subscription every year until this season, and that is only because I am in the Reds market and can watch on FSN Ohio. Besides, since the death of my laptop, I have not had regular high speed internet access. It is my dream that a new laptop - or a gently used one - will fall from the sky so that I may rejoin the twenty-first century.

But I digress. I'm talking about watching every game. Watching it. Seeing the beauty of the game with my very own eyes without even being there! It's almost as if I am drawn to the cathode ray tube (or internet) against my will, as if I am an addict of the drug of the nation whenever the Cincinnati Reds come on.

I've just returned from a Walden week. Actually two of them. My parents have a cottage at Fort Loramie State Park, replete with one of those safari boats they use to travel down the Congo or the Amazon rivers, called pontoon boats here in Ohio. I don't know if they're called pontoon boats while floating over piranhas or in between hippos, but I don't see why not - they're boats on pontoons. Though some people live on the lake year round, many of the cottages are only in use during the summer weekends, making week life very tranquil and isolated. There is no FSN Ohio in the cottage, just a few radios. Even the boat has a radio.

I fell in love with baseball on the radio again.

I retreated to the isolation to get some work done and do some writing, and boy was I rewarded with productivity. There were no distractions, only the radio and the voice of Marty Brennaman telling me what was going on down below him. My imagination woke up; I was able to envision Brandon Phillips diving to his left and flipping the ball to Joey Votto for a Gold Glove out. I pictured the flight of the little white sphere stung by Edwin's bat as it sailed into the seats. I conjured up images of the home plate umpire ringing up another victim of a Voltron changeup, the arm pump jerking his body in that manner so dreaded by luckless batters.

We know so little about the human brain, but this we can surmise: television is lethal for the imagination. Our brains aren't forced to do anything when everything is presented to our eyes.

Hey, I'm not anti-television. Anti-garbage television, yes, but I enjoy some shows like 30 Rock, House, and Ugly Betty. And The Simpsons, of course, even today's Simpsons. When the world looks back at American society one hundred years from now, you can bet they will study the Simpsons. There are already university courses about the show. Brilliant, brilliant stuff.

Like everything in life, there must be balance in television time. Everything in excess is bad for you - work, red meat, alcohol, credit cards... Everything. Moderation is balance. Moderation is key to human health. Moderation is happiness.

I had an imbalance in my life. I watched too much baseball. Baseball grew dull for me. I grew dull. And then I went to Walden, and I experienced the All Star break and then I experienced radio baseball and I feel rejuvenated and some of the love for the game has returned. There's something about the radio, maybe the retro feel of it all that takes you back to baseball in more innocent times, maybe the recollection of childhood in hearing Marty's voice, maybe just the stimulation of brain activity, the animated use of the amazing human imagination, a divine gift so underused in the mundane ritual of quotidian existence.

Boy, I'm gonna miss hearing ...and this one belongs to the Reds! The time is fast approaching. We should suck it all in now while we can and appreciate what we have before it's gone.

OMG, breathe, breathe, breathe, and this one breathe belongs breathe to the Reds! What in tarnation is Cordero's problem? And I will say it again - Todd Coffey has no business in a Major League uniform. Why didn't they bring Herrera up again?

On Thom Brennaman

For some reason, I got games on MLB.TV on my PC on Saturday despite FOK$' dictatorship over baseball on Saturdays, and I was able to watch two games at the same time. It was odd because I was blacked out on the laptop.

Anyway, I turned the sound off of the Anaheim Suburb of Los Angeles California Angels of Disneyland against the FOK$ Saturday Game of the Week Red Sox and listened to Thom Brennaman and Joe Girardi call the Phillies-Asstros game. With joy I rooted against the Asstros and Lance Jerkman, my hatred for them nearly equal to my hatred of FOK$. (Although I am not one of the Biggio haters. After all, his favorite band is U2! haha.) To FOK$' credit, they did change Saturday baseball so it started later this year and doesn't preempt earlier games. Kudos to them for listening to fans.

Thom took a lot of criticism from Reds fans during the three game series against the Arizona Desertbax where he spent enough years as broadcaster to turn his hair gray. I've always liked Thom as a broadcaster from his days in Chicago to his FOK$ national broadcasts - he has a good television voice and seems to be excited during the games - so I was thrilled when he signed on as a Reds broadcaster and absolutely love when he does radio broadcasts with Marty. However, I didn't see the Dbax series, as MLB.TV had the DBax feed, and apparently he was pretty cranky, as evident by the creation of the "Thom Brennaman" handle on Red Reporter.

Because it was such a disaster and he and Chris Welsh seemed ready to duke it out in the booth, I decided to ask Diamondbacks bloggers their opinions on Brennaman. Wesley from Dbacks Ramblings and Matt from Arizona Diamondhacks graciously responded.

Wesley said:

1. Did you like having Thom as a broadcaster?

Overall, I'd say yes, all though it really depended on who was doing the color commentary that night.

2. What did you like best about him? What did he do well?

He was easy to listen to and had a very distinctive voice and was an overall classy guy. He always seemed like he was having fun while calling the game, and seemed like he enjoyed his job immensely.

3. What did you not like about him? What grated on your nerves?

Thom wasn't very savvy when it came to the game at times. He'd often ramble on about "first pitch hacking" or relatively meaningless stats like average with runners in scoring position. He'd often attack rookie players for making mistakes, when veteran players were playing poorly. He had very little knowledge when it came to the more "modern" statistics, such as on base percentage. It was the little things like that that a lot of fans hated. He'd often go wildly off topic and not even call the game depending on who he was paired with (especially Mark Grace.)

4. What do you think of his home run calls?

Not very memorable.

5. Did you ever get the impression that he was arrogant? Can you give examples?

Yes. His rants about first pitch hacking, and rookie mistakes.

6. What were some of the irritating things he would say over and over again?

First pitch hacking

7. Did you ever scream shut up at your television?

Most fans would just turn the volume down and turn the radio. But yes, I have. Mostly when he'd veer completely off topic,and go on and on for an inning with out talking about what's going on in the field.

8. Do you think Thom's national broadcasts are different than his local broadcasts?

Yes, he tends to stay more focused on the game, and he tends to not go off on tangents as much.

9. Are you glad to get rid of him?

Yes and No. Thom has been the only constant with this team since the beginning. He was there for all the memorable games in Dbacks history - the 2001 title, Johnson's 20k game, and Johnson's perfect game. Those games are etched in the minds off all Diamondbacks fans. However, with the new direction the team has taken, it was appropriate that Thom left when he did. Unfortunately, a few fans have taken his leaving negatively, and feel that there's some sort of "conspiracy" by the front office that forced him to leave. These are the same fans who hate the new colors and who don't have any clue how good these young guys are.

And finally, who's worse, Tim McCarver or Joe Morgan? (When you talk about bad broadcasters, you have to somehow mention them!)

The only thing that's worse the McCarver and Morgan is if they called games together, luckily, they don't.

Make sure you check out Dbacks Ramblings.

Matt at Arizona Diamondhacks wrote:

The NY Times media critic, Richard Sandomir, wrote a scathing piece on Thom and Steve Lyons in October, that I pretty much agreed with and is worth a read - if you can find it. It's on the NY Times pay site. Here's the money quote:

When you become known for making mistakes, or for your immaturity, it’s hard to wash away the image. If you’re a great announcer, it’s easier to forgive the errors.
But Brennaman is not great. He is mediocre, distinguished mainly by an unmodulated megaphone-like voice that is like a parody of what a sportscaster should sound like. It does not convey a warm welcome, or the promise of excellence, as do Vin Scully or ESPN’s Jon Miller, who was joined for Friday night’s Yankees-Tigers game in Detroit by the retired Ernie Harwell, ever a delightful and welcoming legend.

Thom is certainly not the worst of the play by play men. He's versatile, hard working and reasonably well prepared and professional. His delivery, which to me reeks of 'masculine artifice', works better in a football environment, but football diehards don't seem to like him much either, I think, because he doesn't really understand the games as much as he pretends to.

Daron Sutton, our new play by play guy and former minor leaguer, is regularly more insightful than Thom, better understands baseball is predicated on a great deal of failure, and is, of course, more cheerful. Thom just kind of generically rants about stuff he knows little about, like batters who swing at the first pitch or pitchers who don't throw strikes, as if hitting and pitching are easy job tasks, like booting up your computer and pouring the morning coffee.

Diamondhacks has several posts about Thom, or as some people called him, Thommie. Here is a poignant quote characterizing Thom's careerism, which has been a criticism about him for a long time:

Schulte may not be the most dynamic radio man around, but his interest in baseball is authentic in the same way Thom Brennaman's is towards college football and careerism.

From October 12:

This appears to be Gonzo's first shot at broadcasting, and although he sounds understandably stiff, it's already clear that he and Byrnes both are easier on the ears than Brennaman typically is. Unlike their more experienced, professional counterpart, Byrnes and Gonzalez are informed commensurate with their position, refreshingly honest and, frankly, likeable.

From Oct 8

It started with a nice little tribute to the late Buck O'Neil. They put his picture Oneilburns on the screen, said he was a fine man and a great ambassador of the game. Well deserved, but as Diamondbacks observers, we've heard enough of Thom Brennaman to figure it wouldn't stop there.

It didn't.

The fact Brennaman felt compelled to reopen the Hall of Fame "controversy" isnt too big a deal, in and of itself. Most interested fans, including me, were genuinely surprised that Mr O'Neil, by far the most visible candidate, fell short of induction in the recent special election focused on long forgotten Negro League greats. Perhaps the newly hired Reds announcer felt he was doing the O'Neil family a favor by publicly standing in their corner at this difficult time.

The problem is the way Thom goes about it. He could have simply said, as some MLBloggers have , that O'Neil belongs in Cooperstown, or that it was a shame, on a personal level, that the nonagerian just missed the cut. Instead, Brennaman bellowed that it was "unfathomable" how a group of baseball historians far more educated than he on the issues at hand could possibly make the "mistake" of excluding the former first baseman.

Seems Mark Grace is less popular than Thom, as those of us who watched the Dbax feed last week came to understand.

Raspy voiced, foul mouthed Mark Grace narrowly edged his more polished partner, pontificator Thom Brennaman in this week's just concluded Diamondhacks Poll, which asked "Who is your least favorite Diamondbacks TV broadcaster?".

Then there was this mysterious post:

Whether we like it or not, sermonizer Thom Brennaman will return to the Chase Field broadcast booth on Sunday June 25th, after a mysterious extended absence. The Diamondbacks could use a preacher, following another blowout loss tonight.

Diamondhacks sincerely hopes things are okay with Thom's family, but did we miss the press conference detailing his hiatus? Doesnt the club's summer vacation policy apply to all employees, including mouthpieces?

Few have attended Dbacks games as religiously as Thom Brennaman, who is paid for his service and who previously only abandoned his local calling for the mega-congregation over at Fox's Game o' the Week. Lack of religion may help explain the Diamondbacks decline, but at least their fans havent been subjected to Thom's faux baritone** during this fall from grace.

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** Our favorite line about Thom's famously practiced delivery comes from Dodger fan John Weibe:

"I do wonder if Thom Brennaman uses the same voice to ask his wife to pass the salt and pepper as he uses to describe a grounder to short."

Wasn't that about the same time Marty just disappeared for a week last year?

It appears that Dbax fans had their criticisms of Thom and that we can expect more of the same. We should take it with a grain of salt. Personally, I think his radio broadcasting thus far has been great, and I have only heard him a couple of times on television - last night he did a good job and I was not bothered once by anything he said. But it's a long season. At least we have six guys doing broadcasts, enough rotation to maintain some sanity, I think!

I'll be watching the game with the sound turned off tonight and listening to Marty and Joe - we'll never have it any better than that!
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