Wednesday, April 22, 2009

In the bell jar

I've been in the bell jar for awhile. I've started posts, worked on them some more, and just didn't complete them because I just can't seem to get the words out. I enjoy watching the Reds and the team definitely seems different this year, but the central part of my days so far hasn't been baseball but actual work. I'm working with a Lebanese development organization and will be tasked with grantwriting, among other things. This morning I thought this was going to be a good day because I got to go to the House Committee on Foreign Affairs hearing in which Secretary of State Clinton was speaking, and though I got there at 8:15 for a 9:30 hearing, there were so many linejumpers and protest groups that by the time I approached the door, the hearing was full. I was third in the new, dejected line. I had been so excited to get to do something for work that I would have done in my free time that at one point I almost felt like crying, I was so bummed about not getting to go in. Still very cool to see members of Congress roaming the hall.

But to baseball, that lovely game with the little white sphere. I was supposed to go to the Nationals game tonight. Then I thought I mixed up the dates so I canceled, and when I found out I had been right the first time, I decided I was too drained to go to the game tonight. And for me not to go to a baseball game...(To be honest, if the Reds were playing, I'd go.) But, you know, it's too cold to go see a team that's only won three games. There are 150 more games - I'll get to that new park sometime soon.

All that and still I've said nothing. I wanted to write about how I have this feeling that baseball really is growing in popularity because all week long I've overheard people talk about baseball and so many people seem to be wearing baseball caps with actual baseball teams on them, and teams other than the one with the big red B on them, although there have been plenty of those as well. I know it's the beginning of the season and there is always more interest in the game at this time of year, but something feels different about the levels of enthusiasm I'm seeing. And that's why I maintain that I'm still in the bell jar, because I just can't find the words to explain that feeling properly.

And now I have work to do that I didn't finish today. It's soooo nice to have work to do.

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