Monday, April 08, 2013

Baseball's Best Fans(TM)

I started laughing.

How could you not? We made our mortal enemies look like fools, made their supporters flee to the exits, heads shaking with disgust.

Things had been rather dull for a couple of hours; the newest crusader for King Castellini had partaken in heinous acts of ugliness, putting the entire operation in peril. He clearly had troubles with that fiery orb hanging at a strange angle in the Midwestern April afternoon, and the evil denizens of Taint Louis, Misery wasted no opportunity to mock him. Beezlebub, identified by the mark of the beast tattooed on his neck, had used his evil powers to direct light into the eyes of the newbie, not once, but twice, causing him to drop two flies which led to three runs. That was enough to send the red demons into a frenzy.

But karma's a bitch. Consider this:

1.Shin-Soo Choo walks.
2.Chris Heisey pops out to second baseman Daniel Descalso.With Joey Votto batting, wild pitch by Mitchell Boggs, Shin-Soo Choo to 2nd.
3.Mitchell Boggs intentionally walks Joey Votto.
4.Brandon Phillips doubles (4) on a soft line drive to right fielder Carlos Beltran. Shin-Soo Choo scores. Joey Votto to 3rd.
5.Mitchell Boggs intentionally walks Jay Bruce.
6.Todd Frazier walks. Joey Votto scores. Brandon Phillips to 3rd. Jay Bruce to 2nd.
7.Jack Hannahan singles on a ground ball to shortstop Pete Kozma, deflected by third baseman Matt Carpenter. Brandon Phillips scores. Jay Bruce to 3rd. Todd Frazier to 2nd.
8.Ryan Hanigan reaches on a fielding error by shortstop Pete Kozma. Jay Bruce scores. Todd Frazier to 3rd. Jack Hannahan to 2nd.
9.Cesar Izturis singles on a line drive to right fielder Carlos Beltran. Todd Frazier scores. Jack Hannahan to 3rd. Ryan Hanigan to 2nd.
10.Shin-Soo Choo doubles (2) on a line drive to left fielder Shane Robinson. Jack Hannahan scores. Ryan Hanigan scores. Cesar Izturis scores.
11.Chris Heisey grounds out, second baseman Daniel Descalso to first baseman Allen Craig. Shin-Soo Choo to 3rd.
12.Joey Votto singles on a sharp ground ball to left fielder Shane Robinson. Shin-Soo Choo scores.
13.Brandon Phillips walks. Joey Votto to 2nd.
14.Jay Bruce singles on a ground ball to second baseman Daniel Descalso, deflected by pitcher Marc Rzepczynski. Joey Votto to 3rd. Brandon Phillips to 2nd.
15.Todd Frazier called out on strikes.
That was the ninth inning, the one that began at a 4-4 tie and ended at 13-4 after 15 batters went to the plate. Wild pitches. Bases loaded walks. Errors. Deflected balls. Infield singles. Every ugly thing in baseball happened that inning. The Deadbirds of Taint Louis, Misery had been vanquished.

So how could you not laugh?

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