For this winter day, I present you: Hot Red Hot

This made me LOL. Oh, how terrible it was, but I'd put up with another equally as bad recording if we could have another trophy.

Here's my update for Reds Rap 2010. Can you picture Harang and Bruce trying to rap?

Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh
Let me tell you a story about a baseball team
On top of the game and it's not a dream
From fourth to first the pennant we can win
Now I present THE CHAMPIONS!

Hot, red hot
Hot, red hot

Harangutan here with the rest of my crew
BP, C-Dick, and Voltron, too
Coming to you live just to bust the groove
With some help from my homeboys to make you move
This is the time of year to take the pennant
Ain't no half steppin', so let's win it!
Listen up, listen to the story,
This is the year, the moment of GLORY!

I'm from the streets, the streets of CA
I chose ball, and I'm really good, eh?
I've seen people playing hockey acting like they're cool
If they were smart, a bat would be their hitting tool.
Enough of that, I wanna beat that Cardinal Poo.
Just listen up, that's what I want to talk aboot.
Back to this rap, and this is what I got to say
In twenty-ten we're gonna take it all the way.

We're the Reds, red hot
We're the Reds, red hot

Strike three, he's out, you'll always hear
With Johnny Quest you'll have no fear
All year long I'll be the best
So all you critics forget the rest.
This is my time to shine, that's why I'm bustin' this rhyme.
The pitch I'm throwing today - aye carumba! muy caliente!

When duty calls Jay will deliver
With crushing blows that'll make you shiver

Stubbs in the outfield running down shots
Fly balls, line drives, they gotta be caught

It's been a long time, I've taken some heat
Because of my managing we're gettin' beat
I send C-Pat and Willy to the dish
And the pitcher says, You can't touch this

Yo, take it to the seventh inning stretch!

Go Bronson! Go Bronson! Go, go, go Bronson!

Uncut, no work, I have no pain
Me and my guitar we're together again
Another homer, look out, who can it be?
Oh, we're in Toronto for season three!

There's more to life than O.B.P.
You can make it to the big leagues like Willy T.
Striking out, grounding out is what I do
They pay me millions, yes it's true.

This is the roster, it's really not full
Leftfield has a great big hole
Shortstop Soft-J comes with no bat
How long til Alonso wears a C hat?

We're the Reds, red hot?
We're the Reds, not hot?

Here's a special message for Walt:

Say no to Carroll, no to bad contracts
Just get us someone to hit the ball with the bat
And you can win the World Series all right
Not by making bad trades but doing what is right.

Say no to Willy, yes to Gomes
Just get us someone who can get on and cross home
And we can win the World Series for once
It's been twenty years since we were champions!

We're the Reds, red hot
We're the Reds, red hot

Hey there we're doing this for you...

We're the Reds, red hot
We're the Reds, red hot

Everybody clap your hands...

Hmm...that turned out a little more bitter than I had hoped.

And then there was this:



It's hard to think Cincinnati sports teams used to be good. I'm still not certain the Bengals are really in first place. If only the Reds would follow suit...

Top ten all time favorite players

I thought I’d take the time to reflect upon my favorite baseball players. The only rule I’m using is that I had to watch him play and remember him, so any Big Red Machine players are out. I’m sure I saw Johnny Bench play as a child, but I just don’t remember.

10. Paul O’Neill. I never really got over the trade. I never considered him a Yankee even though his best years were in pinstripes. He could have been one of the Reds greats if they’d have kept him. I have a picture of my family and me with him – I had to be in fifth or sixth grade and had a hideous perm, so that won’t be displayed on the mantle.

9. Derek Jeter. Maybe the one player whose entire career I followed, at least from Columbus on. Jeter’s one of those players who has that extra something that people who’ve never played competitive ball don’t understand, things like leadership and stepping up when things count. He’s played in the brightest spotlight and has never had a scandal. That’s something right there. He may not be the greatest shortstop in the game, but he’s good.

8. Ryan Zimmerman. This kid has a head on his shoulders and can be the next Brooks Robinson if he stays healthy. I can’t believe the Nationals haven’t signed him to a longterm contract yet.

7. Bret Boone. I liked him when he played for Seattle. I was thrilled when he came to Cincinnati. He was one of those players you can’t explain why you like, you just do. He was good, not great, but he was a big part of winning Reds teams and I was pretty sad when he left.

6. Sean Casey. Who didn’t like the Mayor? Nice guys are easy to love. It was pretty sad to see him retire this year. He’d make a great bat off the bench in Cincy.

5. Ryne Sandberg. Call it a WGN childhood. I loved Ryno. I had nearly every baseball card of his except the rookie cards – I only had the Fleer rookie card and spent a pretty penny on it back in the day. Maybe my Ryno love had something to do with the fact that my uncle got me a Sandberg Louisville Slugger when I first started playing Little League back in second grade. Sometimes you just develop an attachment to a player, but he was a pretty darn good one. I didn’t lose any love for him when his team got into that big fight with the Dayton Dragons last season.

4. Jose Rijo. 1990. The squirt gun. The Banana Phone pranks. What was there not to love about Jose? It was a bummer his arm didn’t love him, though. Bummer he might be in trouble, too.

3. Ken Griffey, Jr. Yes, yes, I have been hyper-critical of him in the last couple of years, and I even suspect that he had more of an impact on the Reds losing than we could imagine, but Junior was my favorite non-Reds player as a kid and my god, is that swing art. With time, I’ll forget all of the negative things about him, even the injuries, and remember him as the greatest centerfielder of my lifetime. I’ve already almost forgotten the bad and cannot wait to see him in a Mariners uniform again. I hope he hits forty out this year.

2. Barry Bonds. Yes, baseball’s all-time homerun hitter. But I don’t need to elaborate on why. I’ve written about it before. It’s just that I’ve never seen the atmosphere of a game change as it did when he came up to bat. There was electricity in the air. You just knew when he was going to hit one out.

1. Barry Larkin. One of the greatest shortstops in the history of the game. Born and bred in Cincinnati, Ohio. A pure Red.

Players who would have made this list but…:

Roger Clemens. I know, I know, it seems like a double standard loving Bonds and hating Roger. I used to love him, even as a Yankee. I remember taping a Clemens-Martinez matchup once and watching the game later. But the whole weirdness about his half seasons and his perceived craziness soured me to him. What can I say? You can’t help the way you feel. And I didn’t have the luxury to see him play on a regular basis like I did Bonds. Maybe it was the bleeding butt that turned me off.

Manny Ramirez. I loved Cleveland Indian Manny Ramirez. But then Manny became Manny, and the love stopped flowing.

Darren Daulton. Something about a guy who preaches that the end of the world is coming ruins the legacy.

Jose Canseco. Dude is just crazy. I loved him as a kid. But something about a rat just rubs me the wrong way.

I was surprised that there weren’t more Reds on my list when I really thought about it. I hope that one day I can rewrite this list and add Brandon Phillips, Joey Votto, Jay Bruce, Johnny Cueto, Edinson Volquez, and Homer Bailey to the list!
___

Karma's the B word

Leatherpants is under federal investigation. Hey, Jimbo, Better get yourself together darling. Join the human race. Who the hell do you think you are? A super star? Well, right you are. A star shining bright for the FBI.

Seems like Bowden might have been skimming signing bonuses for Latin American players since way back in his Reds days. I guess innocent until proven guilty, right? (Well, not in the USA anymore, but that's another topic for another time.)

Every time I think of old Jimbo, I can't believe the Reds had good teams under him. I wonder how much of his sleaze was responsible for the losing of 2000-2003. Maybe his extracurricular activities interfered with his ability to put a team together. Of course, I don't know him personally, so I shouldn't make judgments, but so many people have talked about what a slimeball he is, so, you know, it's hard to be impartial.

There are a lot of Nationals fans who don't get the slimeballness and take offense to criticisms of him. All I have to say about that is you're seeing him at his best right now. Under FBI investigation. Us Reds fans know. And it has nothing to do with Gary Majewski.

Bummer about Jose's possible involvement, though. I sure am glad Barry got out of that organization.

We'll see. Could be this Wilder guy is the only culprit.

Take that, Leatherpants! Ha ha!

The Bank President posted this link about a Nationals prospect being 23 rather than 19. Jose Rijo was involved.