Sinking the Mayflower

Something on baseball...something on baseball... You know, I believe I only have so many words to use a month, and I think I've used them all up. That and there's really nothing too exciting in baseball to write about. Sure there was the McGwire admission, which took ALL press attention from the Reds on the one day they should have been in the news. Can't you big markets give us small market folks just one day in the spotlight?

I've written before that I don't care about steroids, that Barry Bonds is my favorite non-Reds player ever, and that I think this whole "controversy" is largely just a bunch of that brand of moralizing horsey doodoo that is so typically American. Drugs Are Bad. War on Drugs. Mandatory Sentences. This Is Your Egg Brain. Everyone and his brother and sister and mother and father and neighbor and dog has weighed in on the subject, so I will say no more.

Except.

Comparisons of Rose to the Roid Boys are stupid, though I think Rose would have used had steroids been available back then, which brings me to another who-cares-about-roids point. People keep saying "The Steroid Era," but how many ballplayers of the past would have used if the drugs had been available to them? Yep. That weird thing we call nostalgia has purged all the evil from the past, and the HOFers are all saints. Except Ty Cobb. Everyone knows he was a jerk, thanks to Tommy Lee Jones.

The Roid Boys didn't murder anyone. They just wanted to be the best and they used the technology available to them to get there. Bud "National Disgrace" Selig let this happen because baseball needed something to bring it back from the strike. If anyone should be banned from baseball, it should be him. Did the Roid Boys cheat? Well, steroids weren't specifically banned in baseball. We know both hitters and pitchers did it. That's pretty much all we know, because we'll never get all of the names of the guilty. Was McGwire's apology one of those non-apologies? Maybe, but you could see he really did regret using. What's done is done. It is what it is. Time to move on.

So I guess this is my steroid post, or another of them anyway, and despite "not caring," I had to say something. Because McGwire belongs in the Hall. Bonds belongs in the Hall. Sosa belongs in the Hall. I enjoyed every minute of watching them play, even as my hatred for the Deadbirds and Chub$ was growing. I sat on the floor of my door room at Miami one September day in 1998, eyes one with the television screen, and nothing will ruin the way I felt watching that game, especially not some puritanical blabbering from the can-do-no-wrong self-righteous sports-writing generals of the nothing-but-sports crusader army who have an uncanny ability to lead the mouthbreathers to arms.

I guess I did have some words left.

The Big Time Machine

Here's Pete Rose on Phil Donahue from 1985. The hairdos and graphics are great. Enjoy!











Oh, Pete, why did you ruin everything?

There's something about an Aqua Velva man...

"When you are burning in Hell, I hope to be burning food on my Pete Rose Signature Grill."

There's a website Emails from Crazy People. It's along the same lines as You Suck at Craig's List, People of Walmart, and Passive-Aggressive Notes. I enjoy looking at these sites when I get a little frustrated at work.

I came across this one that is sort of Reds-related and thought I'd share it because it made me LOL and it sort of goes with the Church of Baseball theme.

ATTENTION: Ryan alkdfddgdf (aka: fraudulent scammer):

On May 1, 2009, a Pete Rose signature grill (Pete Rose (Signature Series) Roto-Grill! eBay ID: akjflakdjflaksdjf) was ordered from your Ebay auction. Along with that order was payment through debit card. Our bank shows you received $79.00 from our account on May 4, 2009. We have not heard from you regarding this order, its shipment, or anything. We have made repeated attempts to contact you through Ebay, and you have not responded. It is beginning to look like a fraudulent listing. If this is the case, every attempt will be made to get law enforcement involved. We have already been working with Ebay to start a case against you for your lack of communication and this seemingly fraudulent item posting. You got the money, as per the agreement. Up to this point, you have not upheld your end of the agreement by shipping us the item that we paid for.

It goes on.

You have lined your pockets in an unsavory manor and apparently have no desire to communicate with us about this order or the fact that you have no intention of shipping the item we bid on and paid for the day the order was placed. What kind of racket do you run? You know, living in Utah, I would have thought that some Mormon values would have entered into your business practices. You are not an upstanding Mormon at all!! Hmmmm…Where in the Hell is my grill?! It does not take 15 days to ship something from Salt Lake City to Cheyenne, Wyoming!! The distance is not that far. I bet you scam little old ladies who live on limited incomes, too. Do you do that, Ryan? You are one of those people who do not believe in honest work for honest pay, are you Ryan? Funny thing, I have a friend named Ryan, and he is a low-down, dishonest, shady character, too!! What do you suppose the chances of that are? You know, greed is one of the seven deadly sins, and it is quite clear that you are a greedy Godless person who does not care in the least about being dishonest and greedy with people. You obviously do not have any pride, which by the way is another deadly sin…but being so consumed by greed, you will surely burn in Hell for that deadly sin which you practice so well. When you are burning in Hell, I hope to be burning food on my Pete Rose Signature Grill. I plan on grilling a meal to commemorate you as you burn in Hell. First, I plan to grill the very tiny little smokies to signify the tiny wand between your legs that you use to screw people who send you money for products thought to be legitimate. I will also grill two very shriveled up raisins to signify the very tiny balls you have. I apologize if you are a eunuch (and I am half guessing you are), in which case, you don’t have any balls to signify with raisins. If you are, indeed, a eunuch, I will replace the raisins with thin slice of tuna to signify the flat void you have between your legs. I will burn each item sufficiently to match what you will look like as you burn in Hell!! Now, that we have the niceties out of the way, WHERE IN THE HELL IS THE GRILL THAT WAS ORDERED OVER TWO WEEKS AGO?! You should already have a map of Hell and should be able to locate the grill quickly…that is if you know how to read a map. Do they teach that skill in fraud and scammer school? I bet you were valadicklesstorian of the class, weren’t you, Ryan?! I could go on and on, but I am pretty certain you won’t respond to this email, either.

Sincerely,

Non-Hell Dweller

Wow.

Pete said it

Q What do you think of the 2009 Cincinnati Reds?

A They aren't as good this year as they were last year (74-88, fifth place). They didn't do anything this winter to really help themselves. They acquired a catcher (Ramon Hernandez) who hit .257. Stevie Wonder could hit .230.

From Hal
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Top ten players I wish I could have seen play ball (and remember it)

Watching MLB Network all the time has got me thinking about how great it would be if we could go back and watch some of the legends of the game play in real life. This was a difficult list to compile. Just think of the immortals who grace baseball’s history books, guys like Lou Gehrig and Ted Williams and Bob Gibson and Cy Young and so many others who didn’t make the list. Not one pitcher made my list, and I think that’s because so many of the greatest pitchers in the history of the game have pitched in my lifetime – Pedro, Roger, Ryan, Johnson, etc. I would have loved to see Satchel Paige pitch. He’s probably number 11.

10. George Wright – One of the Cincinnati Red Stockings founders, it was said that Wright was the best player in the game as the nation was recovering from the Civil War. If he hadn’t been part of the Red Stockings, he probably wouldn’t make this list. But he was. And I’d love to see him play without a glove.

9. Sadaharu Oh – Japan’s greatest homerun hitter, he would have hit five or six hundred homers in the Majors. The guy hit mammoth shots and pretty much made baseball a national pastime in Japan.

8. Jackie Robinson – Now here’s a guy I’d love to watch for his demeanor more than his play. A true American hero who had the courage to face social injustice, number 42 deserves all of the recognition he gets and more.

7. Babe Ruth – Wouldn’t he make everyone’s top ten list? And to know I saw games played in the stadium he built, well, that’s just something generations after mine won’t be able to say. How sad.

6. Joe Morgan – Joe was one of the greatest second basemen to ever play the game. It’s too bad my generation and younger have had to suffer through his broadcasts without ever having seen him play, tainting our idea of him. If anything, I’d love to watch Joe play to take the bitter taste of his broadcasting from my mouth.

5. Oscar Charleston – A guy whom many consider the greatest Negro League player ever, Charleston would have no doubt had his name in the MLB lights for eternity had our country never been sociopathically evil in its race perceptions. Charleston was a fan favorite but was famously known for his temper. Once he ripped the hood off a Klansman and dared him to speak. Awesome.

4. Willie Mays – The greatest centerfielder to ever play the game? Not many people argue with that. The greatest player ever? Hard to argue with that, too.

3. Pete Rose - I know I saw Pete play, but it was in his second stint with the Reds when he was past his prime, and besides, with the exception of remembering watching him hit 4192 on September 11, 1985 on television, I don’t remember him playing at all. I was only eight years old when 4192 hit the turf at Riverfront.

2. Johnny Bench – I may have seen Bench play a game, but I would have been under six years old, and he probably didn’t catch if I did see him. I wore number 5 as a catcher in my ballplaying days in honor of the greatest to ever don a Major League uniform.

1. Josh Gibson – Maybe the greatest player in the history of the game. The legend says he hit over 900 homers in his career, including one that left Yankee Stadium. Of course, there’s a lot of Paul Bunyan in that, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that he was very, very good. It can probably be said that he would have hit six or seven hundred in the Majors without any big blue ox to help him. To top it all off, he was a catcher. I love catchers! But social injustice killed him at age 35. He must have been heartbroken that he couldn’t play in the Big Leagues, and he turned to the drugs which caused the stroke that took his life just three months before Jackie donned the Brooklyn uniform for the first time.


If you could watch anyone, who would it be?
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The Good 9/11

I've sold out? Ok, so if you don't use Adblock, you've probably noticed the ads. They're up there at the top, screaming desecration, a hideous eyesore ready to gouge your soul. But that's food money where I am going for awhile - I'll have more about it when I have the plane tickets in my hand. Hey, I'm a baseball fan; I am superstitious by nature! Just please click on the links every now and then, and if you feel like doing a good deed, turn Adblock off for my page. Remember - beer is at stake!

Happy anniversary of 4192! Listen to Marty's historic call. Gives me goosebumps every time.

The day was September 11, 1985. I was eight years old. My grandfather's birthday was on this day, so my family had gathered at my aunt's house to celebrate. My grandparents, aunts and uncles, my mom, and I were watching the Reds game in anticipation for The Hit. This was my first concrete memory of the Reds, one specific event that is very clear in my mind. Not only did I understand that I had just witnessed something important in baseball, but it was also the first time I realized how baseball is much more than a game, that it is more than wins and losses and batting average and strikeouts. Pete's hit was a joy my whole family shared, and the Cincinnati Reds always gave us an excuse to get together to take in a game.

You can dwell on the bad things about today's date, or you can choose to remember the good things in life. Dwelling means they've won, and I'm sure not ready to throw in the towel.