A Day in the Life of Willie Randolph by Willie Randolph

Hi, my name is Willie. I'm here to talk about my job as Manager of the New York Metropolitans. You know them as the Mets.

I've been Manager since 2005 and I just recently got a contract extension. In my first year, we finished in third place behind the Braves and the Phillies. The Nationals did well that year until the very end, or else we would have finished behind them, too. My bosses spent a lot of money on the team that year and weren't too happy when we finished in third place, so they went out and spent even more money and we won more games than everyone in the National League. We were National League East Champions, but sadly we lost to the St. Louis Deadbirds, who only won 83 games and stunk for most of the season, and we did not make it to the World Series.

Here is where I work. It was built in 1964 and is now a real dump. That's why we're moving into a new stadium in 2009. We get tired of hearing people complain about how their seats are broken or how something fell from the roof and hit them on the head. And those bars between the seats are really annoying. Hopefully the new stadium will turn out ok.

This is where the fans get off to go to the ballpark after a really long ride on the 7 line all the way out to Flushing. The Yankees get a sign that says "Yankee Stadium." We get a generic sign that says "Baseball" because we are the baseball stepchild of New York City - that's why they keep us all the way out in Flushing. Flushing is a mutation of the Dutch name for the place, Vlissingen, which was founded in 1654. I don't know what the Dutch word for baseball is.

In June, we played the Cincinnati Reds, who were only slightly worse than the Deadbirds. At Shea, we charge different prices for tickets based on how good a team is. The Reds were in the cheapest level. It still doesn't prevent scalpers from ripping people off, but caveat emptor, right? I can just imagine the guy who sells bad tickets to some poor family from Ohio going out and buying a week's worth of forties and lying in a gutter for a week after he finished them.

We split the series 2-2. Billy Wagner blew a save during one of the games, and that really made me mad. I heard Mets fans tell some Cincinnati fans to go back to Cincinnati after that one. I wanted them to go back, too, along with the whole Reds team.

This is what the inside of Shea looks way before game time when the Mets are taking batting practice. In the distance there are pictures of our stud third baseball, David Wright, our All-Star shortstop, Jose Reyes, and our killer outfielder, Carlos Beltran. We paid a lot of money for Beltran, more than he's worth, and someday we'll pay outrageous amounts to Wright and Reyes, but right now (ha ha, get it? Wright now!) they are signed to longterm deals that are pretty cheap for us.

Shea Stadium is located near La Guardia Airport, and boy does it get loud there sometimes. You learn to get used to it, but if you're in a bad mood, like if Billy Wagner blows a save or the ump stinks, it can be annoying. The new stadium is being built right next door, so we aren't going to escape the airplanes. It's cool though, cuz it makes us unique.

Here the Reds are taking batting practice on the night they beat us when Billy Wagner blew that save. It's way early so most fans aren't there yet, but a few dedicated maniacs are standing behind the dugouts yelling and screaming and demanding autographs. How would you like it if I came to your office and interrupted your work, hmm? You wouldn't like it at all!

Speaking of harassment, this guy, Zack, harasses us for baseballs all the time. He has collected something like 2000 balls. Don't you think he should have to pay for them? He's been on all sorts of baseball shows, so I guess you could call him famous. He's wearing a Reds hat because he is deceitful to the other team so he can get balls. I don't like liars. I wonder how old he'll be before he stops begging for baseballs.

He has a blog if you want to go and read about his baseball collecting.

Here is Adam Dunn batting. Just look at the beauty of that field glowing under the stadium lights. Is there anything more beautiful than a baseball field? I don't think so. I'd much rather have a picture of a ballfield hanging on my wall than a fancy shmancy painting by some pretentious artist. It really is poetry for the eyes, isn't it? I am blessed to have a baseball field for my office.

Finally, here is a shot of where we come out of the ballpark to go home after a long day at work. We always have to deal with a bunch of crazy fans screaming for autographs. We rarely give them, though, because we're a bunch of overpaid snobs. We hop into our Hummers with their tinted windows, crank up the stereo, and mumble ungratefully about how annoying these people are, even though they are the ones who ultimately pay our salaries.

And that is where I work.