Johnny Bench was a Yankee

And so it comes to this.

I woke up yesterday morning and leaned over to check my email. Would I have tickets to the sold out Red Sox game up in Baltimore? Yes, I had taken to calling it the Red Sox game despite having donned an O's cap during the first two years I lived in DC before the birth of the Nationals and before my personal boycott of Peter Devilos' club. With the Nats on MASN, however, I had no more reason to boycott the team. Anyway, I had two messages, made arrangements to pick up some great tix, and set off to Baltimore. The seats were 8 rows back from Manny, who acknowledged both fans and hecklers throughout the game. I kind of rediscovered a love for Manny because of it.

We could have been in Boston.

Now, as a baseball fan, I have a great respect for the Boston Red Sox franchise, and I have no problem admitting I rooted for them in 2003 and 2004. That 2004 Series was one of the most memorable in my lifetime. Now, though, I'm kind of torn. Yes, they are the anti-Yankees. Yes, they have some great and interesting players. But yes, they are part of the large and small market phenomenon that has come into creation under Selig's reign. And yes, the new bandwagon "fans" irritate me to no end.

Case in point:

Idiot blond chick sits behind me with three of her new Sox fan buddies, all of them pretending to know baseball but none worse than she, who spits out incorrect facts incessantly, especially as she continues to imbibe brain rotting pleasures that she can ill afford to use. For most of the game I either ignore her or roll my eyes, like when she and her guy friend are talking about how Eric Gagne had "one good year" during his career, and neither of them could remember if it were with the Dodgers or the Rangers. Now, you have to understand how much these people thought they knew about baseball to understand why it was annoying. But like I said, I ignored it as best as I could. Until I heard her say something that should be put on a bandwagon Red Sox "fan" t-shirt. I can remember it word for word, because it appalled me so and sent me on a sort of tirade.

"There was this catcher in the seventies - Johnny Bench, I think he played for the Yankees - who didn't like a pitcher calling him off so he caught the ball with his bare hand to show how bad the guy was pitching."

I went off. I didn't turn around and address her directly because I wanted all of the stupid bandwagon fans to hear what I had to say. It went something like this:

Johnny Bench on the Yankees? John-ny Bench on the freaking Yankees?!!?! Here's another example of those faux Sox fans, the ones who bought their caps in 2004, the ones who don't understand anything about baseball but think it's "cool" to be a Sox fan. These are the same people who think Yastremski hit the home run to win the '76 World Series because they've seen the footage on television, this despite playing against a team that could have beat the '27 Yankees, a team who has three starters in the Hall of Fame and only three because Pete's banned and Conception is not in because it's seen as having too many players from one team in it, and you have these morons who think that Johnny Bench was on the Yankees? Because they can't fathom that there is any other team besides the Yankees and the Red Sox, and this despite the fact that the Red Sox have sucked for most of their existence? I wonder if these people can even name other teams in baseball who don't play on the East Coast.

I then went into the large/small market/Bud Selig/E$PN stuff, how these bandwagon fans don't understand that the small market teams have not always been bad. I should have added that the 1975 CINCINNATI REDS were the team who started wearing the St. Patrick's day green, NOT the Red Sox, despite the popularity of the green Boston garb and the overwhelming majority of people thinking the Red Sox started it all.

Oh yeah, and Manny Ramirez played his first eight seasons with the CLEVELAND INDIANS.

Every time that woman said Sox this, Sox that, it made me ill. That I can focus so much about "Johnny Bench, I think he played for the Yankees" rather than the game speaks volumes about my irritation and my many, many encounters with these "Sox fans" who know nothing about baseball (yet pretend to, which makes it all the more irritating.) It was actually a great ten inning baseball game. To see such a crowd, every single seat filled, no one leaving until that last batter...well, putting the sentimental aspects of my three games in Cincy aside, it was definitely the most exciting atmosphere of a game I've seen this season.

Self-righteous bastard Curt Schilling, whom I can't stand more than any player in baseball aside from Jeff Kent, was on the mound for the Sox against Steve "Don't do anything to change public perception that baseball is a slow, boring game" Trachsel. Schilling went six innings before his ancient arm gave way to the recently bad Sox pen. Gagne, who blew Friday's game for the Sox by giving up a four run lead, came into the eight to protect a 3-1 lead and proceeded to blow yesterday's game, too, by giving up a game tying home run to Miguel Tequila, sending the minority O's fans into a joyous frenzy and a secret desire to turn to their Sox fan seat neighbor and say HA!, though that first place position made it pretty tough to act upon that desire. Statheads like to tell you that there is no such thing as momentum, but they are so wrong. Momentum is that feeling inside the stadium you get when you just know the tide has turned, when everyone gets this sensation in his gut and you just know what's going to happen. When Millar came to bat in the bottom of the tenth after the O's had put runners on first and third, several people in the stands said something to the effect of "He's gonna hit it out right here." It wasn't the standard prediction said in jest. It was one of those precious moments in baseball when you just knew what was going to happen, and numbers can never call these shots. And my god, was it beautiful to see a game winning home run sailing towards us in that majestic arcing flight, watching as that tiny sphere suddenly became bigger and bigger, everyone holding their collective breaths, waiting and hoping, standing, all eyes at the wall, and then...an explosion of cheering and fireworks! God, I love this game.

Dear Moron Girl:

Johnny Bench was on the Cincinnati Reds for his entire career and played for the BIG RED MACHINE, arguably the best team in the history of the game. There are 30 teams in Major League Baseball, and yes, the Pittsburgh Pirates, Kansas City Royals, Milwaukee Brewers, and my own Cincinnati Reds - the first team in professional baseball that has more World Series wins than every team but the Bankees and the Deadbirds (and yeah, technically the Red Sox, though they got their first five when most people were still driving horse and buggies) - have storied pasts and many Hall of Famers. That you think Joe Morgan is an E$PN announcer rather than a Cincinnati Red is testament to your own ignorance and his magnanimous suckitude as an announcer.

I'm half inclined to start a group called the Small Market Brigade, a collection of fans from those above mentioned teams to try to educate the ignorant populous about baseball and to fight E$PN and FOK$ putting on the Bankees and the Greenback Sox on every freaking weekend. I'm sick of it.

Anyway, here are a few more photos from the game: