Why won't the Cubs just roll over and die like they always do?
55 games left. Seems like just yesterday the season was starting and I was full of the hope and excitement each new year brings. This one was a promising one. Yet the baseball gods hate the Reds. Why? What did we ever do? Why have you forsaken us???
I have tried everything. I have tried virtual voodoo. I have prayed to fake baseball gods. I have cursed them. I have tried to use telekinesis to make the balls go over the fence when the team is losing. I have tried to make Dusty Baker read my mind through the television when he makes stupid moves. Alas, none of it has worked. Maybe I ought to ask the Sky Genie to give Corey Patterson the power of a Major Leaguer.
What can we do? If we stop going to games, that money won't be available for the salaries of players better than Corey Patterson. Which is about everyone, I know. Some of the people I've seen answering the questions on Reds Live aren't going to help us use our brain powers to manipulate the games to our advantage. Curses and spells just don't work anymore. Maybe if we merge with the Pirates and the Royals, we'll have a good enough team to compete. What can we do?
If the Reds win 55 more games, they'll win the division! Ha! Guess all of this losing is maddening!
We have to get the Cubs another goat.