I was lucky enough to conduct a phone interview with Farney over the weekend. He generously provided me with information previously unavailable anywhere in the Reds blogosphere.
COB: So, Farney, what has been the best part of the season for you so far?
Farney: Well, I should say the playoff race, but it's been so frustrating at times that it kind of takes the fun out of it. So, I guess I'll say winning the beer mat contest last month at a pub in San Fran.
COB: Sounds like an accomplishment. How many beer mats did you flip?
Farney: 120.
COB: What?!?
Farney: 120.
COB: You're lying. No one can flip 120 beer mats, especially a little person like you.
Farney: What? Are you discriminating against me? Mocking my vertically challengedness? How dare you!
COB: No, no, I'm not mocking you. The Guinness record for beermat flipping is only 111. If you flipped 120, then you broke the record.
Farney: See why it's the best part of the season?
COB: No. What about Adam Dunn's 40 home runs?
Farney: That's not exciting. He does that every year.
COB: Well, what about his grand slam to win that game?
Farney: Fun, but it proved not to be the turning point in the season.
COB: Rich Aurilia's year?
Farney: Yeah, Richie's having a great year. I'm proud of him. But he doesn't hold the Guinness record for beer mat flipping.
COB: David Ross?
Farney: What about him?
COB: What do you think about his year?
Farney: Lucky him. He and Scott Hatteberg. I sprinkled a little leprechaun dust on them at the beginning of the year and it worked.
COB: Leprechaun dust?
Farney: If I tell you, I'll have to kill you.
COB: What do you think about Bronson's year?
Farney: More dust.
COB: Phillips?
Farney: Dust.
COB: Encarnacion?
Farney: Dust.
COB: So you're saying that the Reds who are having good years owe it to your magic dust?
Farney: Yep.
COB: Why don't you sprinkle some of that dust on Ryan Franklin and Royce Clayton to get them going? Why not the whole team?
Farney: I don't like Franklin or Clayton. Franklin called me a midget, and Clayton sat on me in the clubhouse and didn't even say sorry.
COB: But the others? Wouldn't your dust help the team to the playoffs?
Farney: Uh, that's all the time I have. Nice talking to you.
COB: Wait...
Commentary on baseball and society, baseball and philosophy, baseball and history, and baseball and baseball.
No comments:
Post a Comment