Monday, August 21, 2006

I got nothing today

I would do it, such is my passion, my love, my obsession with Reds baseball. Today is August 21. The Reds hold a playoff position. There is nothing short of Ken Rosenthal and the rest of the talking baseball heads (which are emptier than normal talking heads) that says the Reds can't take over the Cards for the coveted Division championship. Well, except for maybe Jerry Morron's idiocy.

What would I do, you may ask? I would move to Cincinnati, if I could find a job, just to watch the end of the season. If anyone reading this has a position open for a creative, problem solving grammar nazi, I would accept it. I'm so sick of my job and am in need of a change anyway.

My office is freezing. I take "warm breaks" like smokers take smoke breaks. Today I walked down to the end of the block just to warm up, but I felt it was a pointless jaunt so I bought a pack of mentos from the hot dog guy on the corner. Mixed fruit, not labeled for individual sale, every single one of them orange inside. What are the chances of that happening? I don't even like candy or food products with excessive amounts of sugar in them, but I needed an afternoon pick me up. Sucrose esters of fatty acids taste good every now and then. Manioc starch and Red 3, too. And boy, oh boy, that Arabic gum sure is gummy! Salam alaikum. I can feel my DNA mutating as I chew.

So I'm watching the Yankees beating the Red Sox right now, 1-0 in the 7th. Boston must be draped in gloom, looking like a funeral. What a nightmare of a series for Sox fans, with their team basically killing their playoff hopes and all.

Like I said, I got nothing today.

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