Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Snakes in the dugout (and my inbox)

The loathsome losing streak, the foul fall from baseball grace, and the wanton West Coast late nights have me down this evening. Listening to The Cure isn't helping, either. Well, heck, I admit it, I'm just flat out depressed. I sat down in my great grandfather's old rocking chair, laptop on my bed in front of my face, with the goal of writing a Mahfouzish baseball something in memory of Naguib Mahfouz, who passed away today, but my creative powers have been doused by kryptonite showers or something, and besides, I'm not sure how many have read the Arab World's most celebrated and brilliant writer. Somehow, I didn't think people would get Adam Dunn as a café waiter in a poor part of town like Over-the-Rhine listening to some warped religious sermon from say, Jerry Moron. Although I could see Moron as one of those snakehandler preachers. HA! The image of him twirling a rattlesnake through the air while singing "Praise Jesus!" in that drawl of his wakes me up a bit, and I am discovering something resembling a smile on my face where a frown had just been.

Alas, there will be no rattlesnakes in a café story, as my mood refuses to put me to the task. I had toyed with the notion of doing something else this evening, something - gasp! - non-baseball related, but it's been so long I can't remember what people do in real life, and besides, I want need to see a win. Je suis très fatiguée, though I retired a bit earlier than a lot of folks last night, and I might not make it past midnight. Still, I can't keep away, as my veins are crying out for their fix. Kids, Just Say No to drugs - addictions are pestilential (word of the day). We've had a bad (help me here - what's the term for bad drugs?), but we can, well, um, the West Coast could be our Waterloo. Aww, heck, I'm mixing metaphors all over the place tonight. Geez.

Ok, serious issue here. Have I offended anyone recently? I mean, is there someone out there who loves Jerry Moron or Rolls Roycemack Hands of McClayton so much that he/she has taken the liberty of sending me nasty email messages? Please stop. I like to think I am a nice person, and what I write is all in good fun, so I don't understand why such malice is being directed towards me. Maybe it's Royce himself using different aliases. Stop it, Royce! It's not funny! I'll stop mocking you when you start hitting! And no, one hit per week does not count as hitting!

That is all.

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