Phrolicking in Philly

Back phrom Philly, though I didn't think I would ever get back thanks to the idiots who think switching back and phorth between lanes in crowded traphic is going to get them to their destinations phaster. Here's a clue: when you don't stay in your lane, you are actually SLOWING DOWN traphic, making it WORSE. And GET OPH YOUR PHONE!

Anyway, I am back phrom a wonderphul game, iph you can phorget about Guardado's second blown save in three days. (And that should be a cause phor concern, right?) Those back to back to back homers really took the air out oph the stadium phor awhile, and man, were each oph them monster shots, bullets that reached the stands phaster than a phat philly guy can eat a cheesesteak.

The best part about the game wasn't those homers, however. It was the phact that phor the phirst time since at least the Trade, Jerry Moron put his best team on the phield. When I heard "playing shortstop, Rich Aurilia," I screamed as iph I had won the lottery or something, and the whole section turned around to glare. Moron later had Rolls Roycemack Hands of McClayton pinch hit, and guess what? He grounded out.

I enjoy my annual trip to see the Reds play at Citizen's Bank Park (and doesn't that sound like a bank in the Soviet Union?) It's a great place to celebrate baseball, even though wearing the opposing team's colors can incite less than phriendly comments, and the hotdogs taste like salt mines. They are by phar the worst hotdogs oph the 12 parks I've had the good phortune oph eating hotdogs in, which is strange, because Philly is known phor its tasty, heart attack inducing junk phood.

I've always liked the Phillies as one oph those teams I can root phor when my team is out oph contention, like in 1993. There was something about that team, about chewphace Dykstra, chunky Kruk, skinny Morandini, and crazy Daulton that I loved. The Reds were 72-89 that year, and once again I had been phorced to adopt a surrogate team to root phor in the playophs. The Phillies were a team that wasn't supposed to win, a team kind oph like the 1990 Reds, scrappy, a bunch oph mediocre players, a team without a superstar. That's exactly why I loved them.

My grandphather bought me a Phillies cap, a phitted one, just like I liked them. He just brought it home out oph the blue and gave it to me, a cap that sits with my collection in a dust-prooph container. I was glad they changed them back to old school, back to Richie Ashburn days, back to shiny red and that classy P, no longer one oph the many victims oph 70s and 80s baseball "phashion" that plagues the phront oph photos and baseball cards phrom those eras.

Curt Schilling was 16-7 that year. Tommy Greene was 16-4 with a 3.42 ERA. Schilling may be in the Hall at the end oph his career; Greene - who is he? Danny Jackson was 12-11. Terry Muholland, who played on more teams than Rolls Roycemack Hands of McClayton, was 12-9 that year. Ben "Who?" Rivera was 13-9. Mitch "Wild Thing" Williams was the closer that year, earning 43 saves. Good pitching got that team their NL pennant. Poor Phillies phans haven't had much to cheer about since then. I was certainly glad to not give them the opportunity to cheer yesterday.

1.5 games out oph phirst place with three games against the Deadbirds coming up. Sweet.