It's Christmas Eve!

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was sleeping, not even a spouse.
The excitement was too much for people to sleep,
In hopes that their teams would somehow compete.

The children were lying awake in their beds,
While visions of baseball danced in their heads.
Some thought of The Chief and his straight-billed cap,
Others thought of Bonds and his steroids crap.

When on the cable there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the TV I flew like a flash,
Turned on the station that itched like a rash.

The Deadbirds were playing the Mets on the show
Though it was not yet the holiday, you know.
Opening Day belongs to the Reds
Instead we must listen to sports talking heads.

With a constant sports ticker they so quickly amend,
I knew in a moment it was ESPN.
More rapid than Rickey the scores they came,
While the sports talking heads talked of players by name!

"Now Pujols! now, Eckstein! now, Edmonds and Rolen!
On, David! On, Reyes! on Beltran and Moises!
To the gap in leftfield! or over the wall!
Now hit away! Hit away! Hit away all!"

As Carpenter pitched and let hits and runs fly,
And the baseball floated through the spring night sky.
Out to the green outfield the baseballs they flew,
With a box full of runs, the Mets said Chris Who?

And then, I went crazy from the sports talking heads
Morgan would not shut up about his day with the Reds.
Fire Joe Morgan, John Miller's ok
But I can't stand Joe's rambling about his old day.

He was dressed in a suit and that pompous smirk,
And if I would meet him, I'm sure he's a jerk.
So sick of these ESPN talking heads
Who took Opening Day from the Cincinnati Reds.

We were the first team! Opening Day should be ours!
I don't like how ESPN is in charge!
It's kind of like getting coal in your stocking!
When Joe Morgan will not cease his talking!

Around the MLB com blackout I got
Pretending to be Russian - technology rocks!
But it pained me to watch the sad comic display
Of a station who has stolen Opening Day.

My love for baseball turns on the game
But I still feel like it's a crying shame.
I guess it's like opening a gift on Christmas Eve
It's kind of cheating, but it's still baseball on TV.

Tomorrow we'll wake up and the day will be real
Tonight just is pretend, I feel.
We'll wake up and arise from our beds
With hopes we'll hear "and this one belongs to the Reds!"


Trent thinks it's Christmas, too.
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